Get To You
by notyourgirl
Summary: Lily and Ray during the summer before their senior year. Chapter 5 is now up! R&R.
1. The Photograph

The picture lay on her desk in her basement. She saw it almost everyday, but today she was feeling particulary nostalgic. She reached for the frame, and studied it for a few minutes. His goofy expression made her laugh. It was Ray alright. The same Ray she had known her whole life, but he was different somehow. He had been different for the past two years. He was her best friend. Sure, they had a thing before their junior year, but that slowly faded away. She wondered if she would ever feel his body against hers ever again. They were friends, and she was satisfied with that. _Satisfied._ She didn't really like that word.

The sun poured through her window. She lay on the sofa, half asleep. She was still in her pajamas, and her hair was a mess. She reached for an elastic to make it look semi-decent. She had been up all night last night, worry about Ray. She phoned his cell a number of times and he never picked up. She called his house and his father told her he was out with his _girlfriend_. It suddenly occurred to her that maybe she herself was the one she was worried about.

Thinking about Ray with another girl hurt her in ways she couldn't explain. Even Robbie, her best friend, wouldn't understand. Everytime he asked her if something was wrong, she shrugged it off as if it was nothing. At night she would write dark songs that she wouldn't dare play in public.

_ How could this have happened?_ She had spent so much time thinking about it that she could actually pinpoint the event. Just as grade 9 was beginning to end, she realised that she was truly in love with Ray. She broke up with the most popular guy in school to be with him. At first, their relationship was fun and exciting. They met at the Roscoe Observation Deck whenever they could, stealing kisses under the moonlight. As summer continued, they saw less and less of each other. Ray worked very hard at Mickeys. She knew being a comedian had always been his dream, so she didn't pressure him. On his days off she was usually off in a different city. No Mans Land traveled all across the region with their mall tour. Even though she missed Ray, she kept telling herself that everything would be fine. She needed that mall tour, but what she didn't realise was that she needed Ray more. At the end of the summer, it was almost like an unspoken agreement that their relationship had ended. Robbie kept pressuring them to keep up with RFR, and it had been a month since they had been alone together. At the homecoming dance, when Ray brought a different girl, Lily was not surprised. She told herself that it was for the greater good. She didn't want her relationship with Ray to interfere with her music or RFR. So they went back to being friends. They saw each other everyday at lunch and at RFR, and for a while that was enough.

By the end of her junior year, Lily realised how much she missed Ray. Her grades were slipping due to stress. Parker and Robbie noticed that something was wrong, but she couldn't open up to them. She didn't want to become vulnerable again.

Maybe it was time for her to take a chance. She'd been taking less and less of those lately. Could it really get any worse? Maybe she should tell him how she really feels. If nothing came of it, at least there would be some closure. She was tired. Tired of seeing Ray and his girlfriend, tired of feeling sorry for herself, and most of all she was tired of being a coward. Maybe it was time for her to wake up.


	2. Dear Diary

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters nor am I affiliated with Decode, Family, or The N.

A/N: Another short chapter written as diary entries throughout the day from Lily's point of view. Enjoy!

_July 5_

_10:00am_

_Dear Diary,_

_I fell asleep in my basement last night. I know, I'm a loser. Everybody was out having a good time while I was alone thinking about you-know-who. Could I be anymore pathetic? I was going through my notebook just now and I realised that almost every song I've written is about him. Why can't I just get him out of my mind? It's like he's taken over my entire body. Since when do I live just for a guy? This is the 21st century. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can ever get over him. I can't even imagine what he was doing last night. It hurts too much to think about the possibilities. The only thing I know for sure is that he was out with her. That's bad enough._

_I have to do something about this. I don't want to be one of those girls who just lets things happen to them. I want to be the girl who makes it happen. It's about time that I realised that. Next year will be our last year of high school, so now is the time to take a chance. If I don't, I know I will regret it later on._

_11:00am_

_Dear Diary,_

_I can do it. I know I can. Do you know why? Because Ray just called! I was in my dining room having some late breakfast. I had the house to myself because both my parents were at work. The phone rang, so I answered it. I knew it was him from the moment he said 'hello.' He asked me to meet him at the hang out tonight. It sounded urgent. He said there was something he wanted to talk to me about. Is it about us? The anticipation is killing me._

_What would a normal girl do in this situation? Probably call all her friends over for a makeover to prepare for the night. That's something that I'm definitely not going to do. Can you say boring? Besides, when I see Ray, I want to look like myself. I want to be the same Lily he's known all his life._

_Tonight is the night. I can feel it. Something is going to happen. It has too. I'm going to go for it. I'm going to dive right in. This is the moment I've been waiting for all year._

_3:00pm_

_Dear Diary,_

_Parker called, so I invited her over. She could tell that I was excited about something. She came inside and we went downstairs to my basement. We listened to some music and put together some lyrics for our next song. All the while she continued to ask me what was up. I hate to say it but I have been kind of moody lately. So I guess she noticed a change in me. She said that I was 'glowing.' After prying for a long time, I finally gave in and told her. I didn't want to tell her everything. I didn't show her the dark songs I'd written. All I told her was that I was meeting Ray tonight and that I thought that something might happen. Her smile faded. "Lily, you have to remember that Ray is with Angela now" she told me in a concerned voice. I turned away from her gaze, too afraid to look into her eyes. A part of me knew that she was right, and I hated her for it. But I have to tell myself to go for it. I don't want to sit back and pretend like nothings wrong. I told Parker that I wouldn't do anything that I would regret. I told her not to worry and that I'd call her in the morning. Something told me that she only partially believed me, but I can't dwell on that now. Parker doesn't understand. She never has, and she never will. Now that Parker has left, I can push what she said out of my mind. I am moving forward. _

_7:55pm_

_Dear Diary,_

_In 5 minutes I will be walking to the hang out to meet Ray. I am very nervous now. There's a clock that is on the wall in our front hallway. It was a gift from Ray just before we started high school. I have no idea why he bought it for me, or why I still have it. I never noticed how loud it was until now. It keeps ticking as each second goes by._

_All I want is for tonight to go well. I don't even know what I'm going to do yet. Should I tell him how I feel? That's something I will decide tonight. It's time for me to go. Ray's clock now reads 7:59. Here goes nothing._


	3. The Moment

Disclaimer- I don't own the characters blah blah blah.

A/N: Pure fluff! It actually is as good as I wanted it to be, but considering I've never written a RFR fic before I think I did a good job. Enjoy J

The clouds were rolling in as Lily approached the hang out. She paused for a moment, tilting her head back to look up at the sky. It was dark and cold, but there was still something beautiful about it. Maybe it was the fact that no matter how bad the weather got, you could always count on the fact that a rainbow would come the next morning.

Lily took a deep breath and went inside. She carefully walked down the stairs and entered the area that she'd so often spent a considerable amount of time in with her friends. For some reason the hang out always reminded her of Travis. Even though she hadn't seen him in so long, they wrote letters back and forth to each other. If it wasn't for Travis, RFR would've never started. He was an amazing friend.

She noticed Ray sitting on the couch against the wall. She smiled when she saw him. He hair was as messy as usual, and he looked generally relieved to see her. She sat down on the couch next to him.

"Hi Ray. How are you?" Lily asked.

"I'm fine," he replied. He seemed nervous.

"Did you have fun last night?"

"I guess it was alright." Ray looked to the ceiling. He was distracted.

"Why did you want me to meet you here?" Lily put her hand on his knee to try to relax him.

"It's about last night. No, actually it's about the future. Well maybe just the summer." He was babbling and Lily thought it was rather cute.

"Ok, so what is it?"

"Last night I was with Angela. After we left the party she and I went to the park," Ray explained. Lily took deep breaths trying to suppress her anger. "She told me about a cottage her aunt was renting. Apparently her aunt already paid for it, but she is now unable to use it because her friend is sick."

"So?" Lily scowled.

"So Angela's aunt said that Angela could take a friend to stay at the cottage for part of the summer. She invited me to go with her."

The reality was finally sinking in, "Do you want to go with her?" Lily asked.

"That's what I wanted to ask you about. If I go with her, something might happen."

Lily studied Ray for a minute. He was sitting right next to her, slouched on the couch. He seemed more relaxed now, like he was for some reason afraid to tell her before.

"Do you want…" she couldn't seem to find the words, "anything…to happen? Are you ready?"

"Maybe," he whispered.

"You shouldn't do it unless your ready."

"But maybe I am." He looked into her eyes as if he was looking for reassurance. By now she couldn't figure out what he wanted. It was all getting to intense for her. In that moment all Lily wanted to do was to get away. She stood and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Ray asked.

"Nowhere," Lily replied angrily.

"What's wrong?"

"NOTHING!"

His voice was calm, "something is wrong Lily, and you have to tell me. I'm your best friend. I can help you. I know you've been stressed out about something lately, and we've all been worried about you. I just wish you'd tell me. We used to share everything with each other."

Lily's voice sounded robotic, "You can't help me. Nobody can." She knew she was scaring him, and in a way that was partially what she wanted. She continued towards to door. All she wanted to do was to get home and go to sleep. Thunder crashed so loud it made her jump. The rain was hitting the windows hard.

Ray reached out and held onto her shoulder, "You can't walk home in that storm." Lily felt numb. She wanted to leave, but she also knew that Ray was right. Lily turned around to face him. He seemed concerned, like he didn't even care about what he initially brought her here for.

"Lily," Ray said in a near whisper, "why wont you tell me what's wrong?"

"Because"

"Because why?"

"Just because!"

"Because why?"

"JUST BECAUSE!"

"No, I want to know why."

"Because I can't stop thinking about you!"

The whole room went silent. All that was heard was the rain tapping against the sides of the building. Lily was shaking. She said what she came to say. She said what she'd wanted to say for so long. She looked over at Ray. He was studying the floor. She knew he was avoiding her gaze. She wanted to say something, but it was as if her body and her mind were disconnected.

"Lily, I can't," Ray said in a barely audible tone.

Not knowing what she was doing, Lily took a step forward to him. She was now so close that she could see every detail in his face. She placed her hand on his shoulder, and he didn't back away. _What am I doing?_ She thought to herself. She rubbed her other hand against his cheek. She could feel his breath on her collarbone. A river of courage rushed through her as her lips met his. The space between their bodies closed, and Lily took in his body heat. Ray let out a soft moan as Lily felt his kiss sink to her toes. _I never want this to end. _

Ray gently pulled back, "Lily" he whispered breathlessly.

"Hmm?"

"I…have a girlfriend."

She stopped and looked into his eyes. She didn't want Angela to spoil this night.

"It's ok. I wont tell, you wont tell. Don't worry." She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him close to her. She let her hands go over every part of his body. They slowly walked towards the couch, not letting go of each other for even a second.

"Wanna know a secret?" Lily asked seductively, "I love you."

"I love you too."

Lily smiled and pressed her lips against his. And when he ran his hands up her shirt, she didn't push him away.


	4. The Aftermath

Disclaimer- Don't own the characters blah blah blah

A/N: Thanks for all the nice comments and reviews!

As the sun rose the light shined right in Lily's eyes. She yawned and groggily propped herself up on the couch. She could tell that her hair was a disaster and her shirt was inside out. She opened her eyes and the realisation hit her. She was still in the station. She had never gone home. Lily began to panic. She looked around for her jacket, and she noticed that Ray was right beside her. He seemed to be still sleeping.

"Ray," Lily said in a panicky voice, "wake up." She nudged him in the shin as she continued to frantically search for her jacket.

"Lily?" Ray was slowly getting up.

"Ray, we have to get out of here!"

"What's going on?" He was still half asleep.

"We stayed here all night! Our parents will kill us!" Lily found her jacket and put it on over her inside-out shirt.

"We…stayed here…all night…together?" Ray stood up and looked at Lily. Her unbrushed hair was in her eyes.

Lily paused, "yes we did." She wasn't sure whether she should smile or not. She was happy about what happened. It was something that she had longed for for so long. Last night was amazing. It was everything she hoped it would be. She couldn't think about that right now though, she knew she had to get home.

Ray lightly graced his hand against her wrist, "I…"

"Ray not now! I want to talk, I really do, just not now. My Dad can never find out that I stayed here with you all night or I'll be grounded until I'm 40." Unsure of herself, Lily leaned forwards to hug Ray. He felt exactly as she remembered. She whispered in his ear, "I'm glad it happened though." She laughed. It was the same laugh he had heard so many times before. Something about that was comforting. Suddenly Lily realised what she was doing, "Sorry Ray, I have to go." And with that, she was gone.

Lily was standing at the front steps of her house thanking herself for remembering to bring keys. Although she was worried, there was something intriguing about sneaking into her own house after having been with Ray. She fumbled with her keys and ever so slowly slid them into the door. She tip toed her way towards her bedroom, praying that nobody would see her. As she reached the kitchen a familiar figure was sitting at the table. He was reading the morning paper when he looked up and saw her.

"Dad! Uh…hi there…good morning I mean." Lily was flustered.

"Your home early Lillian." Her Dad didn't put down the paper, but continued to read it and talk to Lily at the same time. She wandered if he actually was reading the paper or if he was just pretending to.

"Um…I guess…wait I'm what?"

"So you had fun at Parker's house?"

"Ab…absolutely…"

Lily's father put down the paper and offered her a seat beside him, "I am glad you let me know where you were."

Utterly confused, Lily sat down. She poured herself a cup of coffee, just the thing she needed that morning.

"Dad…"

"I did find it unusual that Parker was the one who phoned, but seeing as you were sick. Are you feeling better?" Lily's father looked her straight in the eye. He looked as if he was ready to take her temperature at any moment.

"I'm…doing…alright I guess. I think I should…possibly…get some more rest though." Lily was so nervous that her coffee cup was shaking.

"That's probably a good idea Lillian."

Lily breathed a sigh of relief and headed downstairs. What was that about? Why did her Dad think she was at Parkers. Lily threw herself on the couch and grabbed her phone. She dialled Parker's number as fast as she could.

"…yeah?"

"PARKER!" Lily practically shouted through the receiver.

"Lily, it's 7:00 in the morning" Parker sounded like she was still in bed.

"Parker what happened last night!"

"I should ask you the same question."

Lily tried to calm down, "did you call my Dad?"

"Sure did"

"why?"

Parker rolled her eyes, "I was worried about you. You seemed so strange yesterday that I thought you might be doing something you might regret. I called at midnight and your Dad picked up."

"You didn't! Parker I was fine! What did you tell him?"

"I asked if you were there, and he said that you still weren't home yet. I knew you didn't want him to know that you were still out with Ray, so I told him you were with me. He said 'why would you ask for Lily if she was with you?' I got nervous and told him it was an April fools prank."

Lily couldn't believe what she was hearing, "but Parker it's July!"

"You know how bad I am at lying! I told him that I was just practicing for April Fools Day. So then he asked if he could speak with you."

"And…?"  
"And I told him that you couldn't come to the phone because you were sick."

"That explains it. He asked me if I was feeling better this morning." Lily took a deep breath and sank into the sofa.

"Lily," Parker paused, she wanted to bring it up in exactly the right way, "you haven't answered my question yet."

"About what?"

"About this! About why I had to cover for you last night! About how you stayed out all night!"

"I…" Lily searched for the right words, "…can't tell you."

Parker knew that Lily couldn't lie to her, "you didn't…"

"Didn't what?" Lily snapped.

"Go all the way with Ray…?"

Silence fell on Lily's end.

"How could you? Ray is with Angela! Do you know how much this will hurt her?"

Anger built up inside of Lily, "look, you weren't there! It wasn't just some sleazy night. The evening evolved. Angela's never going to find out because you're never going to tell her!"

"Alright," Parker sighed, "but you're going to have to deal with this. Even though I don't agree with you, I will still be here to help."

Lily rested her forehead in her hand, "goodbye Parker." She hung up the phone and placed it beside the picture she had stared at for so many lonely sleepless nights. Her emotions drained all her energy out of her, and Lily collapsed into a long deep sleep, something she hadn't done for days.


	5. Written On My Face

Disclaimer: I'm not affiliated with RFR.

Lily sometimes felt like she had two personalities. On the one hand there was Reserved Lily, but there also was Wild Lily. Reserved Lily was who her friends and family saw. Reserved Lily never got angry or sad. She always did well in school and was there for her friends when they needed her. She kept to herself, and pretended she was okay with that. Wild Lily was the exact opposite. She took chances Reserved Lily would never dream of. She did things on impulse without thinking of the consequences. Wild Lily was who she became the previous night.

Still lying in her basement, Lily peaked at the clock. It was 2:00 in the afternoon. She slowly sat up and folded the blankets.

"Mom? Dad? Is anybody here?" She shouted. Nobody responded. Lily was all alone, just the way Reserved Lily would've liked it.

She groggily went upstairs and walked towards the kitchen. The house was eerily quiet. The only sound to be heard was the ticking from the clock Ray had given her. She decided to get a glass of water and then take a shower. She walked into the bathroom and turned on the tap. The water was steaming hot, just the way she liked it. She removed her clothes and stepped in. Her whole body shook as the hot water washed over her skin.

Whenever Lily was in the shower, she let her mind wander freely. She embraced thoughts she would have otherwise pushed away. She thought about her dreams, her failures, and things she wouldn't dare talk about to any of her friends. When she stood there, letting the water wash over her body, it was as if she was cleansing her mind. It was both relaxing and refreshing.

On this day Lily closed her eyes, and her mind immediately went to Ray. She smiled as she remembered what happened. She remembered the feeling she got when she first wrapped her arms around him. She remembered how he tasted. She remembered his hand against her dewy skin. She knew the consequences might be brutal, but she didn't regret it. For once she was actually happy being Wild Lily.

Lily stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. She studied herself in the mirror. The same hair, the same eyes, the same nose she had always been self conscious about were still there, but something was different. She couldn't put her finger on it exactly, but she could tell it was there. She seemed older. Could anybody else tell? Was there something that would give it away? Her Dad didn't notice, but then again he wasn't really looking. Lily lightly touched her cheek, the same way Ray had done. _I think it will be alright._

Suddenly Lily heard the doorbell ring, "shit," she held onto her towel tightly and walked to the door. She hoped it was just Parker or a neighbour who wouldn't care that she wasn't wearing anything under this towel. She pulled the door towards her and stuck her head out. Her eyes widened. It was him.

"Um…hey Ray" she stuttered.

He tried to look inside, "did I come at a bad time?"

"No no no, that's fine. I was just having a shower. But come on in." After realising what she just said, Lily made a mental note to never say something like that ever again.

"I just wanted to talk to you. You left so early this morning."

"I know, I wanted to talk to you too. Let's go downstairs." She let him inside and noticed he was wearing a dark green v-neck sweater with a white tee. She grinned. Ray stood there for a moment. He looked at her, or rather he pretended not to look at her. She noticed his eyes dart towards her chest, and then he seemed to be quite interested in the wallpaper. She wanted to tell him that it was okay to look at her, but she didn't know how to without sounding like a total dork.

They walked downstairs together when Ray said, "Uh…Lil'…do you…think maybe…you…want to get…dressed?" He asked her in a way that made her think he didn't actually want her to get dressed at all.

"Well, you aren't going to be long right?"

"Right." That seemed to settle it. They sat down by the window. Lily leaned her head in her hand and looked out the window for a minute. She could tell he was still looking at her. Usually when boys looked at her that way she cowered away, but with Ray she thought she might actually be enjoying it. She even turned her head to look at him. Her eyes examined his arms as she gazed upon his entire body. Then she looked into his deep eyes. There was something comforting about them. They were the same eyes she had looked into her entire life. His body may be different, but inside he was still the same Ray she had always loved.

"I just want to talk about last night, and what happened," said Ray.

"Okay,"

"I didn't hurt you did I?"

"What? No, why?"

He took a deep breath, "I just want to make sure it was ok with you."

Wild Lily took over, "It wasn't ok. It was great." She noticed her hand lightly gracing his thigh. Even the lightest touch made her weak.

"I don't really know what to do." He seemed almost afraid of her.

"Do about what?"

"About…Angela."

"Oh," Lily looked to the floor. She hadn't thought about Angela since Parker mentioned her last night. Suddenly the reality of it all was sinking in. Were they going to tell Angela, or keep it a secret? How would Angela react if she found out? The questions began swarming in Lily's head, and she began feeling a bit dizzy. "We don't have to tell her, unless you want to," Lily said.

"I think that maybe I need to think about it. I know everyone says that it's the right thing to do, but I don't want to hurt her."

Lily reached forward to squeeze Ray's hand, "I understand."

"But I can tell you one thing."

"What?"

"I don't have to think about how amazing last night was, and how amazing you are."

Lily blushed, "me neither. I mean, the other way around."

Ray laughed and then leaned forwards to hug Lily. She fit perfectly in his arms. Lily took a deep breath in and sunk into Ray's body. She smelled his smell, and felt his lips against her neck. It was ecstasy. She ran her fingers over his cheeks, wanting to touch very little crevice. Her index finger brushed over his soft lips. She could feel him yearning for her. Unable to hold back any longer, she kissed him. He pushed his tongue in and out of her mouth, which made her go wild with lust. His fingers graced her bare shoulders, and she remembered that she was still only wearing the towel. Still kissing him, she barely noticed when the towel dropped to her waste.

"Lil', you know I have to go," Ray whispered.

Lily made a noise to signal that she didn't want him to leave.

"I want to stay, but what if your parents come home? I'll come back for you. I promise."

Lily knew he was telling the truth, but she still felt like she never wanted this moment to end. "Mmm, ok, if you have too." She pulled the towel over herself and stood up. It took all of her will power to not reach towards him again. They walked up the stairs together in silence, still trying to comprehend what had happened. Lily opened the door for him and kissed him on the cheek as her hand rested on his chest.

"Goodbye, for now."

"I'll call you"

"I'll be waiting" Lily closed the door behind her. She had butterflies in her stomach. She highly doubted she would be sleeping tonight.


End file.
